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When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee..

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of

'What's it all about?'  'Why are we here?'

Most people I know have asked these questions at some point or other during their life, myself included.  In fact I remember starting at a very early age, giving my Mum every reason to tear her hair out!

But it's true, without a purpose this life can seem meaningless and lacking, in fact for some it can seem hardly worth the effort of living.

I was still looking for the answer 12 years ago when going through a very rough patch in my life.  Through my tears I remember telling my coach 'I don't know what my purpose is. I don't seem to have one!' I'll never forget her words...

As a qualified and experienced business and personal coach I like to keep up to date with what other people in the industry are up to.  I also like to have a coach myself to keep me focussed, accountable and on track. So, last week I took advantage of the offer of a free breakthrough coaching session with a very well known and apparently very successful coach.

Did you know that your subconscious mind simply doesn't recognise negative instructions?

So when I just read through a free eBook written by a confidence coach, giving tips on how to be more confident I couldn't help but notice that 16 out of the 70 tips were negative instructions or 'don'ts'!

Now the tips themselves were all good, great in fact, the challenge is that your subconscious mind works in pictures, it doesn't here the negative words, so when it is told 'Don't be so hard on yourself' all it hears and focusses on is 'be hard on yourself'.  Not that helpful is it?

So how do we turn this around into something we'd love our subconscious to hear regularly and adopt as a new pattern?

I've decided... It's official...

I LOVE NEW YEAR'S DAY!

For me it holds the promise of a fresh new start, great expectation and infinite possibilities.

Now I'm not one for New Years Resolutions, as I know goals are best set from a great state  not from a place of remorse or regret and certainly not when hungover, toxic and dehydrated.

So for those of you who are inclined to set (or reset!) your new year's resolutions today, I thought I'd offer a few alternatives...

I don’t usually listen to the news – too much negativity clouds my vision but even I couldn’t avoid the fallout from the rioting taking place this week around our country. I’ve also heard some pretty varied reasoning as people attempt to answer the question why?

As a personal development coach I know the poor quality ‘why’ question doesn't often lead to great quality answers.   Maybe a better question would be ‘What makes these people take the actions they take?

Earlier this week I read an article in The Times extolling the virtues of being 'nice' at work. The gist of it being that 'nice' people  are recommended and get promoted more readily, have better working relationships with team and staff, have a better reputation and are certainly coming out on top during this current , ongoing economic downturn.

According to the excellent article by Jessica Pryce-Jones, we first understood the power of being nice at work in the 80's when a study was carried out at Lingnan University, Hong Kong.  It showed that 'nice leaders got more out of people than nasty ones'!

Well I'm sorry but...

Let's face it, elephants are huge, powerful and potentially a dangerous force to handle.  Yet man has managed to train these wondrous beasts to work with us and for us.  Ever wondered how that is possible?

Here's your answer. As a young elephant, all innocent, wild and by comparison to his elders, not that strong, the elephant master puts a chain around the impressionable elephant's ankle and attaches the other end to an immovable post or tree stump.  The chain is long enough to offer the elephant some freedom to move but short enough to constrain it.

As the elephant grows in size and strength the chain and post stays the same and now, even though the elephant could easily pull out the post

Now, I think it's amazing how we are sent messages to remind us of something we know but have forgotten.Recently I've been reminded many times of a car sticker I had years ago.  At the time I fully agreed with its message.  But then, over the years of my personal development, growing awareness and awakening consciousness I began to question its validity.  Nowadays though, I fully understand its meaning.This is what it said...

Now, be prepared for a shock because, as a personal and business performance coach this will initially go against everything you may expect me to say...

So - here goes... are you ready?