Is who you are determined by your life style?

Over the past 18 months life as we know it for many people has changed radically.  Let’s face it, we are living through one of the worst recessions ever and maybe for you there doesn’t seem to be much light at the end of the tunnel yet.

The other day I met with a friend who had recently found out his job was under threat.  He is on ‘the list’ of names that could go and was extremely stressed.  His greatest fear was that he would lose his job and not be able to maintain his lifestyle.

And this got me thinking…

This guy has a wife, three kiddies, big house and bigger mortgage.  He currently works around 60 hours per week and spend 2 hours every day commuting to and from work.  His job is highly stressful, very detailed and working to strict deadlines yet this is the lifestyle he’s so worried about losing!

It seems to me that he’s caught in the trap of ‘being what he owns’.  When he thinks about losing his job, he’s focussing on the material stuff he stands to lose.  The car, the holidays, the house, the new flat screen tv, which to him means his social status, his pride, his very identity.

And here’s the rub.  When people can get hooked on their material possessions or job title, they become who they think they are.  If this is suddenly whipped out from under their feet how do they know who they are any more?  They have no sense of SELF.

So what’s the answer as this recession continues to bite and people are losing their jobs and homes?

Maybe what’s needed is a simple shift in perspective.  I believe there’s always a positive to every negative.  We live in a world of duality.   Everything is relative.  How would you know something is small if there was nothing big to compare it to?  How could my friend view this situation in a different way?

Maybe he could choose to view this as a message to highlight just how out of balance his life has become, or as an opportunity to re-assess his life, spend more quality time with his family, change career tack and consider what he would really love to do to earn a living.

Depending on your beliefs, this could be seen as a big flashing warning sign to say STOP – take stock, you’re running off the rails here and heading for potentially serious stuff.  I believe that God, The Universe, your Higher Self or intuition (call it what you will) let’s us know when something needs our attention.  At first it may send a little nudge but if ignored those little nudges will become a bit of a slap and continue to increase in persistence until, to get our notice, it just has to take our legs out!  Eventually something big comes along, anything from redundancy to serious illness, to make us stop!

If you’re feeling stressed about a situation how are you currently dealing with it?  Are you being the ostrich with it’s head in the sand? If so, keep an eye out for the bigger slap!  Are you focussing on only the negative connotations, what you are likely to lose?  What could you possibly choose to do differently?

Ask yourself some great questions, for instance:

What positives could there possibly be in this situation?

What opportunities does this present that I’ve not seen before?

What’s the worst that could happen?  and my favourite…

Is this likely to kill me?  Most of the stuff we spend time and energy stressing over isn’t actually a life or death situation.

I guess the top and bottom of this is two beliefs I hold dear  - There is always a way and always a choice.