I think I upset someone yesterday…

As a coach it’s part of my remit to challenge my clients map of the world, the way they see the world through their own filters.

But yesterday something cropped up unintentionally – as it often does.

I suggested that it might not be a bad thing to be selfish!  Now that caused a bit of a sharp intake of breath!!

I know, especially for women, we are great at putting other peoples needs before our own.  I remember growing up in a family of 4 children and a tightly stretched budget, my dear Mum would serve dinner in the following order.

First to be served was my Dad, the breadwinner, then came us four kiddies and lastly my Mum.  Often times I noticed, even at my young age, she didn’t have a lot on her plate.

Now take a look at nature.  A tigress will go out hunting to feed her brood but watch who she feeds first.  Yes – herself.  She has her fill then leaves the remainder for the cubs.  Is this selfish? No.  She knows in order to protect and nurture her family, she has to be in peak condition otherwise they all die.

Have you ever listened carefully to the in flight announcements made before a plane takes off?

The cabin crew tell you to – ‘put your own oxygen mask on first.’!  Why?  Because what use are you to anyone unconscious on the floor?  Is this being selfish?  I think not.

The bottom line is you cannot help others unless you are fit and strong yourself.

You cannot help the poor by being poor.

You cannot help victims (of anything!) by being a victim yourself.

To help people with their own personal development you have to work on your own first.

In my view, as a leader it is necessary to be ‘selfish’

In my opinion as a leader, you are scrutinised to make sure you are not only ‘talking the talk, but also, walking your walk.  And when you’re ready you can spread the word, lead others and make a difference by giving what you have and know.

To quote Ghandi  ’We must be the change we want to see in the world’.